menu to reflect this? Or do I have to stick with just mine and my fiance's names?
we are not having toasts and not having speeches!

I would think that you would be able to talk to the caterers and tell them that you want the menu to say "Pay by Mom and Grandma" in honor of YOUR NAME!

Most caterers should be willing to do that for you. It may cost a little more but it really shouldn't..I believe you can deside what design you want for the menu so you should be able to have that your mom and grandma's name on menu.

you could have the best man thank them on your behalf during his speech. something to the effect of
lets all show our appreciation to katie's mum and nan for this beautiful reception!
and thanks to ............ and he can thank whoever provided the wine, etc.
this is also the perfect time for him to include reading of any telegrams sent by wellwishers who could not attend the wedding.