I feel your pain! I also am in New Jersey and trying (still) to find the perfect place on a budget! I have a few questions for you..

1) Do you mind the wedding being outside?
2) Will the wedding & reception both be in the fall (and is the reason for your Autumn/Thanksgiving theme)?
3) Do you have an specific types of venues in mind? (ie, hotel, VFW, Knights of Columbus, Mansion, outside garden)

http://www.newjerseyweddings.org/banquet.asp?cat=bf
the above is a list of banquet facilities. Many places don't list prices online since they can vary, so you can look through that list and find some places you like and contact them for pricing.

VFW's and Knights of Columbus halls are all over the place, they generally are alot cheaper to rent. You would need to decorate and probably hire a caterer or you could have a pot luck reception where everyone brings a dish.

http://www.njbg.org/
that is a link to NJ Botanical Gardens. You may be able to contact them and ask if they rent out space for a wedding-which would be lovely for a autumn themed wedding.

I also did a search for gardens in nj and got a lot of results, you could try to do the same.

good luck!