...common frds. I'm upset. Help!
I believe most brides-to-be want their weddings to be special. I planned and booked my wedding venue more than half a year ago and all my close friends are aware of it. This girlfriend of mine started planning her wedding few months back. She wanted her venue to be a cosy restaurant. But she procrastinated and now that her wedding date is 1.5 months away, and she is nowhere near to booking her venue, she decided to go for my venue instead. The hotel has 4-5 ballrooms, she chose the ballroom I'm using. Unlike me, she wanted to have a dinner reception, but she has now decided to have a luncheon, just like me. I'm not claiming to have all rights to the venue, but I'll like my wedding to be a memorable one. Now that she's holding hers 1 month before me, all our common friends may think my wedding is "just like the previous wedding we attended"! My point is, there are many other places, why does she have to choose my venue and change hers to a luncheon? Of all friends, why my close friend??

As they say, "Life's a b-tch and then you die".

That's very hurtful. Sometimes it's best to just keep things to yourself. Since you can't change the venue if there is anything you can change at this point to be different from her wedding I would go for it. If you could change your colors or style of the wedding...anything to be unique or different at this point you should do so. I wouldn't worry at t his point what people think or say because it won't resolve anything. You don't owe anybody an explanation and I would just let it go so you won't seem petty (even though I understand how yo feel).

My best friend and I were pregnant at the same time and her child was born a month before mine and she gave him the exact first and middle name I was going to name my child. (Amongst other similar things she has done to me like this...I have sim ply learned to keep my mouth shut).

Email me more details of your wedding vs. her wedding and maybe we can put our heads together and make some changes. Remember...SSSHHHH!!!!!

well, isn't it public? If she wants to book there she can. It's okay if your friends come to the same venue twice. What if you have a better wedding than her? Then everyone will know! lol!

Don't be upset.

with spelling like that someone should rethink marriage until they can spell and speak properly

Give your friend props for being unoriginal and uncreative. Then let it go.

Perhaps you live in a small city where there is not much choice of venues?

Your wedding is still YOUR wedding, it will be unique.

I know how you feel, my husband's "friend" stole our wedding DATE (we wanted a NYE wedding).

Focus on making your day unique to YOU. The ballroom and time of the wedding are not what people will remember. The faster you get over this, the better for YOU.

Good luck!

I see your point, and I think it is understandable to feel somewhat betrayed. You have the right to want your wedding to be special for yourself and your friends and guests, and the fact that your friend is essentially copying your plans is inconsiderate. She should have spoken with you about it first.

That having been said, some of the other answers have indicated from a practical standpoint that it really isn't that big of a deal from your guests' and friends' standpoint. They are there to help you celebrate, they are not that interested in the venue, and they won't be there to "compare" which wedding was better, fancier, first, or anything like that. And, the bottom line is, if this other person is truly your friend, then you need to give that a lot of consideration as well. It certainly is not worth losing or even harming a friendship over this issue. As they say, you can't have too many friends. Just make the best of it if you can, heap best wishes on your friend as she starts her new married life together, and then have the best time possible in your own wedding. Although the wedding is certainly important, it is nothing compared to the quality and length of your marriage. And nobody can copy that. Best wishes to you.

I would be upset at first too. When you look at the situation from another viewpoint you could feel flattered that she respects your ideas and while she is in a planning frenzy she is following you lead. While her date is before yours, your close friends know how long you've had yours planned. You will have different music, decorations, flowers, favors and many guests. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Think of it as an opportunity to go and she how her wedding goes and note anything you want to change before your big day!


Lirpa, this from someone who doesn't capitalize or punctuate? Nice.

Hey, learn from her mistakes! If something goes wrong with the venue for her reception, learn what went wrong, and then improve it so all of the friends will notice you had a better reception.

.....and your point is?


what about the hundreds or thousands of other people who will have booked that same place?

???

I doubt your friends are going to cry about going to the same place twice.